in all honesty, if you ask me, I have nothing nice to say

*image found HERE

in all honesty, if you ask me, I have nothing nice to say

so I learned to stay silent,
and the stardust that I ground up
into make belief
gently helped my mouth stay shut

we like to attach certain things
to where we grew up,
our childhoods
and who raised us and how;
i am a machine.
When I speak I entice
violence,
I thinks deities are
simple-minded,
funny dressing charlatans –
i wont spill from their guts

I am orphaned
to anyone who fathered me,
everything
that leaves me bruises
is my mother;
there is no third side to look at,
no fading lights
in a rear-view window;
northern lights
are chemicals
of deviated humanity –
not Sidhe;
I am the deer in the headlights,
never the driver –

I don’t ever want to own a car
because I don’t know how to stop driving,
you don’t want me to teach you
any traffic laws

or geography
but I will still stand before you
with the audacity
of a sky to be all fluff and pink
an armada of whims and dreams
amid the fjords of a December
and I will still try

to lie.

But somehow I still dread
of even thinking
about telling you
that the world is simply
shit.

~ by Oloriel on July 5, 2020.