Help, I’m dating your answering machine

phone

*image found HERE

Help, I’m dating your answering machine

*Warning: cheesy as Hell

How many times a day
Is normal and ok
To call your other half
And bother them about
Such things as
Amulets and papers,
And old worn out sneakers
And T shirts,
About
Lost girls and lost boys;
About distance?

How many when halves are halves;
How many when he is away?

Look, Honey, how the stars
Flash their bodies
Through the smog of this city that you hate.
My chest is split open like a tent.
No. Scratch that!
I’m fine, I just want to know
Where did you used to keep tools?
Hey, do you know what who and who
Told me about who and who and what?
Did we really end up like this?
No, Scratch that.
The weather is beautiful, ain’t it,
A summer of angry ghosts.
I am sorry, who would have thought of it?
The length of a single street
Hurting more than a continent.

I miss you. I miss
Not having to be quiet
So you don’t wake up.
Scratch that!
I feel like I am missing my heart.
And I don’t know
What to think about
Still going out to get groceries
Without you. I pass the ketchup
Line, pass the snacks and the drinks,
I brush my hair and I brush my teeth
And I make sure
Not to lay on the bed
In outside clothes;
All the damn birds do is
Chirp through my woe.
No. Scratch that!
You don’t wanna know.

How many times
Can I ask you
About the same old things, like
How are you?
No, Scratch.
How are you without me?
I know it’s just been two hours,
But I worry, you know,
About my useless things, like
Is there your favourite drink in the fridge,
What did you eat, with who, where
And why?
Why should I fold the sheets and take out laundry,
Put it on the line and wash – up,
Set alarm and open my eyes?
Why should I walk and sit,
Why should I eat and drink, and where,
With whome;
Our two plush hippos
That I cry into
In our darkened, scratch that,
In my darkened room.
I’m sorry if I leave you soon.

What can I keep,
What can I sleep in,
What did you forget?
Can I drink your cologne, you know,
Like a tourniquet?
Scratch that!
What can I frame, what can I borrow,
What can I steal?
What can I use, what can I burn?
It feels like five million
Light years passed,
The nebulae borrowing their bodies
To the river, flicker
Through the swarm of nightlights,
A nightclub of sweethearts
Stuck atop the poles next to the highway.
A marketplace of scavengers
Beneath our window.
Will you buy my matches?
Can the sky be more cruel?
What will happen with democracy?
Do you want tea?
Please need me in your sojourn!
The plates are scrubbed,
I vacuum cleaned;
When will you return?

Look, Love, the trollies are passing
In their machinery hoot,
It feels so lonely, it all feels lonely,
The most ordinary things.
No! Scratch that!
Will you ever ask again
To borrow my wings?
Look, the things are simple.
I love you, I love you so much
I think I will burst like
Gray dandelion heads
The our son blows
Over the grass.
I love you, I don’t think that it will pass.
I just saw you, shaped like a cloud,
What do you do without me,
Do you ever miss me?
Scratch that!
I wish you stormed in here at 2 AM
And kissed me.

I’m sorry that it’s just too hard to be alone,
I’m sorry that I ask about stuff like
If I have a seizure in the middle of the night,
Who will call the ambulance?
Who will greet the paramedics and tell them
I eat too much spicy food?
And why should it be nobody or somebody
And not you?
Scratch that!
Could you stop by
And let me look at you,
If you are passing through?
We’ve been to the park,
I made
Meatballs and rice, and I made pasta,
And noodles, chicken in soy,
I wrote you poems,
I painted,
I screamed in tears so much
I thought somebody will call the police,
I waited;
I was cold, I was stubborn,
Ecstatic; and sedated.
I folded all our garments, I threw the garbage,
I emptied my soul.

Love, when can I come home?

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~ by Oloriel on April 26, 2017.

13 Responses to “Help, I’m dating your answering machine”

  1. Dear Oloriel, this is such emotionally powerful and touching poem. It makes me feel blue and it makes me wondering not why but how far.

  2. Jeesh, I wonder whether I should call the call the police or nominate you for some kind of award! That really freaked me out. I can feel my heart beating. Is that normal?

    • I’d prefer awards instead of the police, but eh, what can you do 😀
      Thank you very much for reading. I don’t know what to say about your heart, but I do hope it keeps beating. And I hope you did at least once in your life ate icecream in the rain!

      • Hahaha – good point. Hope you get what you need out of it. My heart is beating still and … well, let’s see about the ice cream and rain – who knows. 🙂

  3. Wow!
    Are you drawing on past experience(s) or now? Scratch that!
    Are you okay, my friend?
    Resa
    xo

  4. I am floored by this piece, gobsmacked, as they say. It was amazing and I felt it all deeply.

    • Thank you very much for reading and taking the time to leave me a word of your own.
      I wish, sincerely, that you have never felt like this!

  5. Can this desperation, this ache be more palpable than this? These words create a miasma of all things that course through, filling every bit and every part of the being. Powerful and emotional.
    I hope you’re doing well, friend.

    • Thank you very much for reading HA, always nice to hear from you.
      I am doing much much better now! Hope you are doing well yourself!

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