Closure
*Image found HERE
Closure
On a clearing,
Charred with green
And shattered like an opal
I am spinning circles,
Strapped and waltzing
And dangling my feet
Above the empty trench
Between destinations
While caring is sharing
And fearing means shearing
As shearing is blaring,
Like blaring is caring
And the habit of forgetting
Is shearing the caring;
Lordy lord, the buildings always stare back.
Their paint scrapping like a crescent,
Or a sunset, who can tell;
It reminds me of bloodletting.
Lordy lord, the telephones are ringing,
Drowned in the buzz of my lungs –
Returning, burning; tempering the settings.
Me, with the machine man,
His blue eyes tossed into the distance like marbles,
And the air devoid of words:
To transcribe is to withstand,
And to withstand is to bribe
The wound with a tea – spoon
Of stardust and lies.
Lordy lord, I am beginning to look like a song
On the radio, below, Proserpine’s leisure;
Lordy lord, the people from up here
Look just like fissures,
Holes, yellow and dead; holes in the curd,
Holes on the Moon,
And The Moon is not in my spoon
And could not care less about my wounds;
I will start gently for a moment,
But then I will want to
Fill the dumplings with birds
As I watch the silhouettes of harvest
Curl, around the neck, like dirty pearls,
Like custard, pooling the fried dining,
While the mind is dry,
Calculated, squared, hazy,
Fitting the dreams through tubes
Of geometric pairing
And somebody, please,
Get me off the carousel
Before I become full of hope again,
Before I am daring
My guts against the sky.
*Sharing the poem with dVerse Open Link Night. Check out all the other entries and let your day be filled with poetry.
Your poetry is always made of multiple images which can stand as a single poem, but here is more interesting and surreal-with-Dali-in-mind-crazy-and-chaotic
Thank you! It is a transcription of what it feels and looks like for me to ride a carousel (I love to do so and do so whenever I have an opportunity!).
Art is telepatic in a way. 😉
I hate being on the carousel but so admire the sensation of being in one in your poem ~ The jumbling of statements, like a stream of consciousness, give this effect, with the Lordy Lord ~ I specially love this part:
As I watch the silhouettes of harvest
Curl, around the neck, like dirty pearls,
Like custard, pooling the fried dining,
While the mind is dry,
Calculated, squared, hazy,
Fitting the dreams through tubes
Of geometric pairing
Thanks for joining us ~
Thank you very much for reading!
I just adore carousels and will ride them at any opportunity. I feel very blessed that I love it that I am able to enjoy it, because I never get nausea or get dizzy.
Thank you very much for reading, and hosting!
This is so visceral – I felt myself there, on the carousel. Lovely! 💜
Thank you, I hope you enjoyed the ride and that you will come to the carousel again 😀
I did, and I will! 💜
One of those rides would make me too dizzy to walk afterwards.
Sometimes, i ride the carousels just for that!
Thank you very much for reading!
I really like this, Oriel…..the dizzying way you’ve captured images and infused them together in word pictures that are so lovely and clever. Very well written.
Thank you very much, I am happy to know you enjoyed the poem!
A dizzying ride of exquisite phrasing! Love it!
Thank you, I hope I gave you the good dizzy! 🙂
Absolutely!
*WHOOSH!!!*
Your words are a swirling dirvish, bedevilingly daring! I love the frantic, joyous feel of this. “And shattered like an opal” is a killer line… loved this.
Thank you, I do love a good “WHOOSH”, and I am very glad to hear you enjoyed the poem.
Have a wonderful day!
The image of the carousel so much enhanced by the rhymes and wordplay. I imagine a barrel organ playing and fake smiles to a halting rythm. Nightmarish and real..,
I think you described perfectly how it looks like, at least the carousel that I used to always ride.
many thanks for stopping by and giving me a link to follow back to this gem
and oh yes – “Lordy lord, the buildings always stare back.” those damn buildings, everything stares at us these days, but who can blame them; we’re a most curious circus
Look just like fissures,
Holes, yellow and dead; holes in the curd,
Holes on the Moon,
And The Moon is not in my spoon
I so love a surreal write, it lets the mind conjure up its own interpretation and in-routes and exits and provides several reading’s worth of gems as the imagery starts to mutate in the meta-narrative
also loved the descent into rhymes here and there, like a little pause to reconsider and emphasise the severity of it all
Thank you very much for your heartfelt comment, I am beyond happy to know my poem could offer something to you, after the amazing experience yours gave me!
Have a wonderful day!
THough I get lost in illusions and scattered images, I liked the flow of words.
Thank you, and an extra thank you for swimming through the current of my metaphors!
His blue eyes tossed into the distance like marbles,
And the air devoid of words:
To transcribe is to withstand,
And to withstand is to bribe
Beautiful!
Thank you very much, Sanaa, I am glad you enjoyed that part, it is my own personal favourite!
Dizzy, dazzling, malicious, magnificent.
Thank you, this is an interesting mix of descriptions, I really like it, I think it really fits! Thank you very much for reading! Your poem was beyond amazing , a day later and I am still thinking about it.
I’m not getting you off the carousel… hope is wonderful thing :>) beautiful imagery in verse, Mirjana…
Oh, I do hope at least, you would take a snap of me, while I am on it (and then both of us on it!). I am curious as to how would those photos look, because I think carousel gives me some innocent and honest freedom my face would not possess other place.
this could be arranged lol 😛 in the spring it is possible I visit Belgrade again… I will be so happy to meet you 🙂
Oh my, REALLY!?! IF you do, WE MUST meet! Sorry, I am off to be ecstatic and make plans!
agreed, we MUST meet lol 🙂 I loved Belgrade when I visited it in 2014, it’s an incredible town, with so much history yet so young at heart… I hope (and plan) to travel more around the Balkans in the spring… once this aweful winter is over! it would be wonderful to meet, Mirjana!! 🙂
oh, I was meaning to ask you, did you ever visit Bg last summer, you mentioned you might?
Nope, we never did. The friend we were supposed to visit could not see us, so we decided not to come
Love the strong use of rhyme in your piece. Lovely!
Thank you, that means a lot to me, because I have a love-hate relationship with rhyming 😀
this carousel becomes nightmarish — the play of words (play is sure the wrong word in terms of mood here) enhances the reading, gives it energy…as does the repetition. It moves the reader in terms of energy and almost made me feel frenetic — like the carousel spinning round the same feelings over and over and over and round and round and round….
You hit the nail on the thread, I was wondering if the nightmarish feel will be felt. Even though I love carousels, they do also scare me.
Thank you very much reading and taking the time to leave me a word of your own.
Striking and powerful raw! Your poetic creativeness in this work of yours is amazing and triumphantly an achievement. 🙂
Thank you very much, i appreciate it, coming from you, because I really admire the way you weave poetic imagery, especially the surreal kind.
You are very welcome. 🙂
Likewise we each respect each other.
To make you happy…I’ve posted something today. 🙂