The Dusk is for the Departed

dusk_by_foureyes

*Image found HERE

My first ever attempt at a villanelle. I have always been fascinated by both the form and the poems created by following it, so I have decided to add my meager try.

The Dusk is for the Departed

Without you in the gold of day I seem all right,
at night, I swear, the highway moans your name,
the moonlight translates love into a blight.

Through streets I stumble pensive like a wright,
weaving tapestries for folk to solemnly proclaim
without you in the gold of day I seem all right.

I’m asked my honest heart and everything goes white,
I’m quiet, lonely, hungry, eager to be tamed,
the moonlight translates love into a blight.

A bluebird in a cage no longer dreams of flight,
it’s songs of rue and joy sound all the same,
without you in the gold of day I seem all right.

I think I hear your voice and there is light,
like moths are ever-thirsty of the flame,
the moonlight translates love into a blight.

Where they see hands I see an unheard plight
for highways louder now to chant your name.
Without you in the gold of day I seem all right,
the moonlight translates love into a blight.

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~ by Oloriel on June 11, 2015.

33 Responses to “The Dusk is for the Departed”

  1. You should definitely write more! My first villanelle was nowhere this good!

  2. It was wonderful! Great job πŸ™‚

  3. … and the dawn is for reanimated.

  4. Awesome, reminds me of someone I used to know who loves to travel, and this music video, of a woman who sort of looks like her, who is traveling:

  5. Writer, climber of other worlds, a traveling dancer inside night’s escape, where lights disappear through a winding gap, a sunken pass, painted from those stars in each new nights blackened sky, where one’s soon to rise, to be navigator, one just lost enough, so a story flexes just, just a little interest at day’s abandon, to share. Thank you.

  6. That’s an excellent first attempt! Very beautiful!

  7. I cannot believe this is your first entry.. this flows so well without seeming forced..

    • Thank you, Bjorn! I admire and adore this form so much that it took a lot of waging whether I should try it or not, but I will certanly do more.

  8. Otkad ti piΕ‘eΕ‘ na engleskom bokte?! πŸ™‚ Nema veze, evo ti onda na engleskom kiss :*

  9. You know, this is quite lovely, O. I like the pacing- it’s almost a light gallop, but with just enough melancholy to keep it a slow-aching trot. Really very beautiful and I like the reiteration and repetition with that one same line, always. For me, this is the most beautiful line: “I’m asked my honest heart and everything goes white,”

    Love that! For a moment, everything disappears and it all goes to the here and now and is very internal and self-searching.

    Great. My psychology training has finally turned me into &^%$. Haha….I psychoanalyze EVERYTHING. Apparently. ;0) x

  10. Reblogged this on Sean Bidd and commented:
    Written with moonlight upon the deep coloured soils we tread.

  11. Loved it! I wish I had written that πŸ™‚ I look forward to more.

    • Thank you very much for reading and taking time to leave me a word of yourown! I hope you do write villanelles too, because they are just simply awesome and enchanting πŸ™‚

  12. The last three stanzas speak out loud… Wonderful poem, Oloriel πŸ’«
    All my best wishes! Aquileana 🌟

    • Thank you! Your comment means so much to me because I tend to stay away from form poetry for a number of years, and I am not quite sure did I manage to grasp such an eloquent form while also having something worth saying πŸ™‚

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