King of Clubs

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http://tb-black.deviantart.com/art/Playing-with-Fire-310682180

King of Clubs

Among breathtaking sights, my irises consume,
A landscape of a sun that slowly transpires;
Noon in the woods, with chestnuts in bloom,
And a young dreamer’s heart, roasting on an open fire.

Shall I take but one slice? Give my thoughts but a taste?
Or shall I take only two, two little pieces of someone else?
Three was a number that fairytales weaved, and my fears –
Oh, my fears, them I also need to feed.
Shall I take just one more? A quick bite, a small bite;
Illusions and trembling unite, stand strong
As I give you a taste of something so wrong.
Five little bites, no! Six little slices, seven I should,
Nobody here but wind and the woods,
I shall take eight, just to be sure, all my woe I want to procure.
Nine, yes ten, I will take eleven, I will prick and bite to the very core,
To hell with this, twelve, thirteen, sixteen,
Oh my, how careless, I devoured it whole!

It was a feast fit for a king:
Another’s suffering.

*From the Deck of Cards series

*Shared on dVerse Open link Night

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~ by Oloriel on August 10, 2013.

62 Responses to “King of Clubs”

  1. So elegant loved it!

  2. I like liver and onions myself.

  3. This is incredible! I loved the flow. To me it seems a dark concept, taking from everyone else to gorge on what you should have shared. I loved it, Oloriel! Fantastic. 🙂

    My favorite line is a tie between:

    “Three was a number that fairytales weaved, and my fears –
    Oh, my fears, them I also need to feed.”

    -and-

    “It was a feast fit for a king:
    Another’s suffering.”

    Very powerful stuff! 🙂

    • Thank you,I am glad you liked it! I have a poem for each card of a playing cards deck and they tend to follow a thematic based on the sign they carry,as well as some sort of a message.This is a scene of how I basicly imagine those moments where a person you are sharing something with is enjoying the fact it is painfull. I think it happens far more then we are ready to admit.

  4. “Nobody here but the wind and the woods”
    That line is a winner
    in a winning poem.
    🙂

  5. Vrlo različita ”razbrajalica”… Za odraslu decu… 🙂

  6. There is something magical about the way you write…beauty, elegance, and humor found all in the same place. Beautiful. Reowr!

    • There is not many who find my irony humorous,but you are a (cat!) poet of many virtues and I really appriciate hearing your thoughts on my writing 😀

  7. Oh wow this is powerful it never is enough loved the savage gluttony mixed with a relatable fragility =) The new prompt is up if you are available (hugs)

    • I am working on a song and am heavily influenced by it right now, brought me back to the time when I wrote this. I think it is so relatable it hurts to admit 🙂
      I will be working on the prompt, tho I am scared it will turn into a “I hate guests!” kind of a thing XD

  8. Oh I hope it’s a metaphor to eat heard like that—

  9. Uncanny, I recently posted the jack of spades! Loved this, pal. from the first line where your irises consumed, great poem. Keep smiling and keep writing, hugs from Baldy 🙂

  10. Hello! I’ve nominated you for an award. Please check it out here: http://franticscribbles.wordpress.com/2013/08/12/thank-you-and-a-few-other-things-that-are-due/

    Love your work. Keep it up!

  11. This IS dark, but in a turning over a stone to look at what lies underneath kind of way… and what you show is a truth… love the last two lines!

    • Thank you for your comment, I am very glad that you liked it and that you could recognise the truth in it, althought I at the same time wish things were not so.

  12. Read this multiple times, yet could not have enough of it !
    Loved it ! 🙂

  13. feed yourself and quench your thirst, make the heart a part of you…
    let it bleed and let it quiver
    make it yours
    every little sliver.

    • This is an interesting concept you are mentioning. Sometimes it is hard to define the love of two people without consumation and maybe it should be like that “as everything gets eaten by other”

      • i know what u mean… the hunger to feed off one another, personified by the consumption of the beating heart so it beats inside you, feeding the lust that seeps out of two people in love…

      • Well, it also implies that one must be stronger. I don;t believe in equals, I believe in duality, I see it as a yin-yang sort of a definition. And the strenght is sometimes defined by your ability to kill.

      • exactly… like khalil gibran talks of marriage in the prophet… though i feel it fits when two people are in love..
        Its more subtle may be cuz of the time it was written but thats exactly what i read when i read this…

        “You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
        You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
        Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
        But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
        And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

        Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
        Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
        Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
        Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf
        Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
        Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

        Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
        For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
        And stand together yet not too near together:
        For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
        And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

      • Yes, I know this one. We all got to die, but the other needs to stay alive and breathe the life back in. A singular dimension does not exist, if you feel it,it is not Love that you share. Love is about death and protection, weaved with blissfull moments where the sun shines in both lands.

      • exactly.. 2 parts of a whole never the same but always complete… like a guitar and her strings… or a coffin and the corpse…

      • i love the way uve written this…

  14. I always strive for musical quality in my poetry (I’m a fan of lyrical poetry). And I think you have achieved it through this work. I love the rhythm. I can see you are sensitive in placing the commas and other punctuation marks, even the number of syllables in each line. Great work, Oloriel.

    • I do not even know how to count syllables, truth me told, I just let it out as it comes. I am very sensitive about punctuation grammar yes, because I think when someone presents their work good in that aspect as well, it gives a deeper sence of love for the writen word. Sometimes no punctuation is someones style,but sometimes I get a feeling the writer was just lazy. Things really do get read with much more depth if punctuation is used.
      I can imagine this poem of mine as lyrics as well, some darkish bard song 🙂

  15. it’s sad when some people feed on other’s misery – and even more when it’s the kind or the politicians that should do everything to protect their people’s heart..ugh

  16. It seems to me there are a limited number of reactions that people have to the sound of someone crying: Irritation, Satisfaction, Fear of being next, Urge to Protect, and Sorrow. Which one is yours?

    • Anger. I get really angry and I want to literaly find the source of sorrow and strangle it to death.

      • I hadn’t thought of Anger… I suppose I would tuck that under the umbrella of Urge To Protect, but Anger is such a pure emotion; not really complicated at all. “Fight or Flight” – for me it is always fight. If you hurt someone/something in my presence then be prepared for the consequences because I will act before thinking. The world needs more heroes.

  17. Oloriel, i really do admire your courage….

  18. Ah, this was playful and full of the zest of life.

  19. Awesome writing.

  20. wow…what a sting in that last line….
    the feeling of being unable to stop once you start as well
    comes through overwhelming…very nice….

    • Yes, I think if we take one bite of something, it would be very hard to control ourselves. Sometimes it is like that with feelings, sometimes with material stuff. Thank you very much for reading and letting me know what you think,I appriciate it.

  21. Oloriel, this is impressive! The imagery, the movement and the emotions you leave with us. Brilliant!

    • Thank you very much Shaini, I am glad to know that the dark imagery and approach do not scare people of easily and that reading this was a knowledgable expirience.

  22. Fascinating idea – and written in a vein as cool as cucumber – I like it.
    Then again, it does sound a little like me with a cake…

    • Yeah,if you disregard the first and last part, it is me with pie most defenatly 🙂
      Thank you for reading and glad you liked it! 🙂

  23. A powerful observation of one of the less admirable sides of human nature .

  24. Each bit begets another and on til all that remains is the desire for more. So give us MORE!

    • There will be more,rest assured, tho I do have to make a huge effort into not making all the cards reflect upon the darkness of humanity,

  25. Really great flow to this observation on human nature, Oloriel.

    Pamela

  26. I devote my love to….cake 🙂
    I`m wondering what cake would go nicely with this poem, some dark one, strawberry and choco 😉

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