~ W.D. ~ Excerpt



*An excrept from a book I am writting. Hope you enjoy reading. All feedback is deeply appriciated.

He was sitting on a roof of a skyscraper. The feeding luminosity of the Sun was in full bloom, stinging the eyes of people rushing through their lives, burning their skin and making their minds cry out for shades where they could stop for a moment and rest. The heat had no effect on him. Hugging his knees, his face was firmly tucked in between his legs, his arms gripping his structure, trying to form some sort of a shield. The maddening pain was coursing through him, wanting to rip his non-existent, ethereal body to shreds, to ravage it, to take its toll, a pain so grand and unstoppable by nothing except becoming it, the Universal scream.

He loosened his grip, let his arms fall freely, raised his head and opened his eyes. Tears were streaming down so fiercely, so greatly, washing him and cleansing him, while he was looking straight up into the sky imploding in Sun’s power. He began to weep and a moment later he too was screaming, joining the symphony of powerlessness and despair, with all of his air.

He felt the touch of a hand on his shoulder; he turned around swiftly and embraced the feet of the Angel, feeling a wave of soul warmth and security wash over him.

“You are not enjoying your first visit to this plane I see.”, the Angel caressed his hair gently, too soothe him like a parent does to soothe a crying child. His being radiated wisdom and peace and his face was like it was chiseled in harmony and serenity.

“The cries and the screams … They are unbearable, it never stops, we must help these people!”

“Ah, those words, that aching desire in you. I see it every time. But it is not why I have brought you here, Abelaz.”

“We are not going to do anything to stop this pain? Are we just going to … watch?”, he looked, puzzled, into the eyes of the Angel, still soaked in tears.

“We cannot magically flap our wings and swoop away the pain Abelaz, it is not our purpose.”

“How can you say that, how can you stand here peacefully and listen to all this screaming, weeping, sorrow, these maddening cries for help?”, he stood up, gazing below onto the busy hive of tortured souls.

“This, Abelaz, is only but one step on the stairs of learning. I brought you here, into the plane of your creators not to be their God, but to be their Angel.”

“Weren’t the Angels supposed to save people?”

“No, they are meant to guide people. We did not create this World; we are merely its clerks, its corner-stones, its hope and Light. Your still fragile angelic being is drowning in the Universal scream, I know, I have been there and I have felt it inside my very own being, I am feeling it still, as we stand here now. But with time and wisdom you will learn to understand it, what it means and what it must mean. Look upon the people, look and listen upon their pain, hear the belief and smile, for that means that eventually you will get to soothe their pain with your embrace.”

“I want to reach out to them, I want to extend my hand and wing and take them, to the green fields of peace, anywhere that is not here.”. He took a step forward and began plunging down through the air, his wings clumsily wrapping around him and cocooning him.

He landed on the pavement, got up and extended his hands to grab a woman walking straight towards him, her head bent downwards while her mind was squealing a tune of confusion, burden and loss. As she was getting closer and was now two steps away, his pupils widened with excitement and ecstasy. But the women just passed through him and continued walking, lifting her head up for a brief moment only, her lips forming a little smile as tho she had just remembered something that brought her a sudden remembrance of joy and hope. He was standing confused, his arms now outstretched again, as more and more people were walking straight through him.

“Your intentions are pure Abelaz, but they are wrong. You see now that you are not here to save them. You are here to guide them into saving themselves.”

“How? Teach me how and I will do it ‘till my existence ends.”

“Come, it’s time to leave.”


~ by Oloriel on July 13, 2013.

24 Responses to “~ W.D. ~ Excerpt”

  1. Mogu ti reći kako da budeš bolje ali ne mogu biti umesto tebe.

    • Naravno da ne, horhe 🙂 Subjektivno, objektivno, kakav god utisak imash,bio dobar ili losh, ja cu ga nekako upotrebiti kao vodju ka poboljshanju, il cu bar da probam 🙂

  2. Zvuči kao dobar uvod u/ili epizodu te knjige a naravno da info da je deo celine remeti objektivnost sagledavanja u nedostatku iste.

  3. wow! fine writing! your rich, lush language drew me in and held me!

  4. Oloriel, this is an engaging read, very rich in texture. The only thing that I would suggest is cutting out some wording — where you give two adjectives, stick to one; where you use an adverb, consider using a stronger verb and skipping the adverb. But I have to say, I felt Abelaz’s pain and tension very acutely from your skillful description.

    • Thank you very much for your suggestion, I will be sure to note it when doing final revisions 😀 I am glad you enjoyed reading!

  5. What a powerful and intense story, I was completely transfixed, mesmerized even and I want to know more! I can see what you meant before that our story-writing style is similar! The new prompt is up =)

    • Yes, when reading about Absinthe I really felt as tho I am inside my own writting, it was a scary feeling. I wish to share more of my story, but I realise it would be best to do it in pieces, so more will come 🙂

  6. Oloriel, wanted to read this again at night when it was quiet, to take it all in. i have to say, that you and i share a similar lush, detail rich approach to writing in prose ( when i did write in prose 🙂 )…i think it might be the ‘artists’ in us, drawing with words, painting a picture in paragraphs.

    i loved this excerpt, and i want to know more about the life of angels as only you could describe it… this line really hooked me:

    ‘He felt the touch of a hand on his shoulder; he turned around swiftly and embraced the feet of the Angel, feeling a wave of soul warmth and security wash over him.’

    i’m a believer, wherever your words are is where i’ll be……*smiling*

    • Thank you very much for the confidence and belief you put into my words, as well as trust that they will give you something back and will not be a waste of time reading.
      You are a truly precious friend.

  7. 🙂
    I`m little sneaky, I know more than just here written 😀

    • I don;t think I ever showed you any extra information about Abelaz, so I think this time you are in the same place as everyone 🙂 And you still don;t know who is Magdelene! :PPPP

  8. Mesmerizing, really well done. I can taste it.>KB

  9. herzliche wochen end gruesse an dich eine gute seite du schreibst sehr gut alles liebe von jasmin damaro aus belgien

  10. Again, as before, very good writing. I can see the theme within the text, or I feel that I can, at least that is, where seems to be heading. This is the second excerpt I’ve read from you, and you’re doing a good job. Keep doing what you’re doing.

    • Thank you very much for your words and I am very glad to hear that rading this enticed you to think about possible outcomes of the story or think what lies deeper withing the characters. This is what I always try to accomplish with my writing and saying I am anything less then extatic when someone tells me I managed to do it, would be a lie 🙂

  11. Sounds like the book will be worth it. It’s good writing.

  12. Reblogged this on dealmatthew.

  13. […] Source: ~ W.D. ~ Excerpt […]

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